Some of hardest lessons in my life have come at Christmas time.
That is where I found out that my wife doesn't like to get guns for Christmas... or camping gear.
I guess I should have given more thought to the decision. Giving a woman guns and ammo for Christmas when she really wanted some jewelry could be hazardous to your health.
Same goes for filling your boys stockings full of chocolate candy right before giving them musical instruments is another memorable one.
The boys were almost grown when the hardest lesson came my way. Every year Christmas was a challenge. What to buy, and where does the money come from. The bigger the boys got, it seemed liked the price tag got bigger too.
I took on extra jobs to make ends meet, because everybody knows that crime doesn't pay, but neither does being a cop.
I worked all the time. Whenever the call came I would go. It didn't matter whether or not if the boys were in a game, or a school program, I wasn't there because I had to make more money to give my kids more stuff. Always trying to keep up with all the stuff all the other kids had.
Whenever my kids would want me to play or do much of anything with them, I would have to tell them "I have to work or I have to sleep".
THen in 2003 my middle son started acting differently, hanging around with people I didn't know. I confronted him about it and we got into a big fight and he left home on Dec.22,2003. It tore me up. I couldn't sleep at night not knowing
where my son was.
As Christmas was fast approaching, I was frantic.
I knew how hard it would be for my wife if we were not all there for Christmas eve.
that is when we celebrated Christmas as a family. As Christmas eve morning came and my son wasn't home. I prayed to God that only if he could bring my son home for Christmas, I would change. I would do anything he asked, just bring him home.
After work on Dec. 24, 2003, I saw the most joyous thing... my son's car in the garage! He came home!
I ran into the house and up the stairs to his room and flung open the door.
I wanted to throw my arms around him and hug him and tell him how much I loved him.
But as our eyes met, what I saw in his eyes was fear. Then I remembered the last time he saw me my eyes were filled with rage as we were fighting. I began to cry as I told him how much I loved him, and that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to stop him from making bad choices.
With that, he jumped up, and with tears running down his face, he told me he loved me to. and he was making changes in his life too.
We had the best Christmas ever. Peace ruled in our home that night. After the gifts were exchanged and the meal was done, Nick got up and grabbed his coat.
I asked him where he was going, and he said he wanted to show his friends his gifts.
I almost stopped him, almost told him to stay at home with us. But, then I thought, "haven't we had enough conflict in the last 3 days"? So, I told him to be careful, and told him I loved him.
He looked at me and grinned, and said "I know Dad, Me too" and was gone.
I don't know if it was just tiredness or what, but I slept the most peaceful sleep that night.
It was until my wife woke me up to tell me some one was knocking on the kitchen door. I put on a robe and looked at my watch, thinking this had better be good. It was 6:30 am when I opened the door to see one of the Deputies I worked with standing there. And behind him was the coroner, and I knew that they had not come to my door at 6:30 on Christmas morning to wish me a Merry Christmas.
The deputy had tears in his eyes as he told me what had happened... a car wreck, single occupant, a fatality. Plates come back to you, but no ID on the body. Who would be in ths car?
I remembered my prayer to God, " just bring him home" and I will change, I'll do anything.
Well, God kept his promise twice, and now I try to keep mine.
The lessons I learned from that Christmas are these:
Never pass up an opportunity to tell those you love, how much you love them now, because you might not get another chance later.
Always, as far as it depends on you, live a life of peace, you will live longer.
You might win an argument, but you will lose the respect of those you love,
Respect is easier to maintain, than to regain.
True gifts are the people we love, and that is the hardest lesson I learned.
My son is gone, but all that "stuff" that I worked to buy was left behind. All the "stuff" in the world isn't worth 5 minutes with your loved ones.
Take the time to tell your loved ones how much you love them, spend time with them. Let them know that they are precious to you.
May you have a Merry Christmas and may you find peace and true happiness this year.
Brad
That is where I found out that my wife doesn't like to get guns for Christmas... or camping gear.
I guess I should have given more thought to the decision. Giving a woman guns and ammo for Christmas when she really wanted some jewelry could be hazardous to your health.
Same goes for filling your boys stockings full of chocolate candy right before giving them musical instruments is another memorable one.
The boys were almost grown when the hardest lesson came my way. Every year Christmas was a challenge. What to buy, and where does the money come from. The bigger the boys got, it seemed liked the price tag got bigger too.
I took on extra jobs to make ends meet, because everybody knows that crime doesn't pay, but neither does being a cop.
I worked all the time. Whenever the call came I would go. It didn't matter whether or not if the boys were in a game, or a school program, I wasn't there because I had to make more money to give my kids more stuff. Always trying to keep up with all the stuff all the other kids had.
Whenever my kids would want me to play or do much of anything with them, I would have to tell them "I have to work or I have to sleep".
THen in 2003 my middle son started acting differently, hanging around with people I didn't know. I confronted him about it and we got into a big fight and he left home on Dec.22,2003. It tore me up. I couldn't sleep at night not knowing
where my son was.
As Christmas was fast approaching, I was frantic.
I knew how hard it would be for my wife if we were not all there for Christmas eve.
that is when we celebrated Christmas as a family. As Christmas eve morning came and my son wasn't home. I prayed to God that only if he could bring my son home for Christmas, I would change. I would do anything he asked, just bring him home.
After work on Dec. 24, 2003, I saw the most joyous thing... my son's car in the garage! He came home!
I ran into the house and up the stairs to his room and flung open the door.
I wanted to throw my arms around him and hug him and tell him how much I loved him.
But as our eyes met, what I saw in his eyes was fear. Then I remembered the last time he saw me my eyes were filled with rage as we were fighting. I began to cry as I told him how much I loved him, and that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to stop him from making bad choices.
With that, he jumped up, and with tears running down his face, he told me he loved me to. and he was making changes in his life too.
We had the best Christmas ever. Peace ruled in our home that night. After the gifts were exchanged and the meal was done, Nick got up and grabbed his coat.
I asked him where he was going, and he said he wanted to show his friends his gifts.
I almost stopped him, almost told him to stay at home with us. But, then I thought, "haven't we had enough conflict in the last 3 days"? So, I told him to be careful, and told him I loved him.
He looked at me and grinned, and said "I know Dad, Me too" and was gone.
I don't know if it was just tiredness or what, but I slept the most peaceful sleep that night.
It was until my wife woke me up to tell me some one was knocking on the kitchen door. I put on a robe and looked at my watch, thinking this had better be good. It was 6:30 am when I opened the door to see one of the Deputies I worked with standing there. And behind him was the coroner, and I knew that they had not come to my door at 6:30 on Christmas morning to wish me a Merry Christmas.
The deputy had tears in his eyes as he told me what had happened... a car wreck, single occupant, a fatality. Plates come back to you, but no ID on the body. Who would be in ths car?
I remembered my prayer to God, " just bring him home" and I will change, I'll do anything.
Well, God kept his promise twice, and now I try to keep mine.
The lessons I learned from that Christmas are these:
Never pass up an opportunity to tell those you love, how much you love them now, because you might not get another chance later.
Always, as far as it depends on you, live a life of peace, you will live longer.
You might win an argument, but you will lose the respect of those you love,
Respect is easier to maintain, than to regain.
True gifts are the people we love, and that is the hardest lesson I learned.
My son is gone, but all that "stuff" that I worked to buy was left behind. All the "stuff" in the world isn't worth 5 minutes with your loved ones.
Take the time to tell your loved ones how much you love them, spend time with them. Let them know that they are precious to you.
May you have a Merry Christmas and may you find peace and true happiness this year.
Brad
